What Makes A Good Father Great
Text: 1 John 2:13
1 John 2:13 I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father.
Most Father’s Day sermons focus on father’s for obvious reasons – that is the subject, right? Well, in this sermon, I want to focus on young men who may one day become fathers themselves. I am sure most young men who want a family want to be good fathers. But I want to challenge you to be more than simply a good father. I want to show you some of the qualities that will make a good father a great father, and I want to encourage you to desire those qualities in your current or future responsibilities as a father. Let me give you several things that make a good father a great father.
Faith Makes a Good Father Great
Mark 9:21-24 And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child. And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us. Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.
Here was a father in desperate need of help for his son. The Lord told him that if he would just believe, then he would have what he needed for his son. If there is a member of the family that especially needs to exemplify FAITH, it would be the father. Fathers need to be men of faith. They need to be known for it, expected of it, and driven to it.
When young men get married, the last thing their new wife needs to see in her husband is a man as fretful as she is. There is no security in that for her. If you are a father, your children need to see a man of faith in their father. Paul admonished Timothy, even though he was a young man, he needed to exemplify a man of faith.
1 Timothy 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
Fathers need to be men of faith. The only way for you to be a father of faith is for you to be a young man of faith. Your wife and children will need to see you completely stedfast in your faith towards God. When God needed a man to do something for him, he almost always chose a man of faith. Even when the deacons were chosen in Acts 6, they were characterized by faith:
Acts 6:5 And the saying pleased the whole multitude: and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Ghost, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolas a proselyte of Antioch:
Abraham is considered the father of the Jews. The number one attribute Abraham had was faith. He was spoken of as a man of faith more than anything else. The question is, will you be a good father or a great father? The answer depends on how much you believe God and exemplify that to your family in the matter of faith.
Faith makes a good father great.
Authority Makes a Good Father Great
Hebrews 1:1 God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets,
God spoke to the fathers because they were the authority. It is amazing how Hollywood portrays fathers today. Most of them are wimpy noodles with no authority in the home and no respect from children. Well, that is exactly what Satan wants fathers to be seen as. But that is opposite of what God desires.
The father is commanded to be the head of his home. With that honor comes the responsibility to answer to God for that home. If the father falls usually the family falls. If the father serves God usually the family serves God. His authority and leadership will point the family either towards God or away from God. He sets the example, whether it is a good example or a bad example.
Acts 16:13 And on the sabbath we went out of the city by a river side, where prayer was wont to be made; and we sat down, and spake unto the women which resorted thither.
My question from this passage is, where were the men? Here we have a group having church by the river, but there were no men there. And that’s the way it is today oftentimes. More women go to church than men, did you know that? Many women are trying to tote the load of the family because their husbands won’t be the authority they are supposed to be. I cannot tell you how many church going wives I know that must take the children to church because the husband won’t go. Determine now, young men that you will lead your family! You will be the spiritual leader of your home. That’s how a good father can be a great father.
Nothing is more nauseating than a hen-pecked husband that won’t lead his family. What is a hen-pecked husband? It is a husband that let’s his wife run the family. She runs all over him because he is too wimpy to be the authority in the home.
But let me pause here and say something that is very needful in our Independent Baptist circles. Being the head, the leader, the one responsible for the family, does not mean being a bully, a tyrant, abusive to either your wife or children. There is a big difference between a leader and a tyrant. Leadership can be demanded or it can be commanded. If it is demanded, it usually is not respected. But if you lead by example, in humility and willingness to please your wife and raise your children for God, your presence in the home will command leadership without ever having to demand anything.
Authority is responsibility and fathers who accept the authority and the responsibility that God has given them become great fathers.
Temperance Makes a Good Father Great
1 Corinthians 9:25 And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.
When I say temperance, I am not referring to drinking alcohol. It should go without saying that if you call yourself a man of God, you won’t consume alcohol. Why? Because nothing ever good came from drinking. OK, moving on. If you want to master the art of fatherhood, you must be temperate. What is temperance? I read an excellent definition of temperance. Let me read it to you and then I will give you the biblical definition.
Temperance is moderation in things that are good, and abstinence in things that are evil.
The biblical definition is “self control”. Usually, if the wife yells at the children and the children yell at each other, it is because the father yells at everyone.
The root of the word temperance is temper. That doesn’t mean a man with a temper is temperate. It means that a temperate man can control his temper. You young men need to be masters of your temper before you get married and have children. Self control in your life will help you be a great father. God gives us men the authority in the home, the church, the community, and the nation. How can we control or influence others, if we have no self control? Someone has said, Those who learn to command themselves soon learn to command others as well.
Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
If you want your wife and children to have some self control, give them an example to follow.
My second point dealt with authority. This verse in Proverbs talks about ruling. When a man can learn to rule himself and have self control, he will then learn to rule his house and have control there.
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Self control is something that every man needs to master in every area of his life.
1 Corinthians 9:25 And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.
Holiness Makes a Good Father Great
Exodus 20:5b visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
This is the first of four times in the Bible that God says this to his people. It was the sins of the fathers, not the mothers, that was paid for in four generations of children.
When Saul sinned and rebelled against God, it was Jonathan his son that lost the right to the throne of Israel.
1 Samuel 13:13-14 And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever. But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee.
Because of his father’s disobedience, Jonathan never did see the crown sat upon his head.
When David sinned with Bathsheba, God said:
2 Samuel 12:10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.
David’s children unto the fourth generation suffered because of his sin.
There are many lost men that have become good fathers in the sense of being a father. But if you want to be more than just a good father one day, you must be a holy young man today. Do you know why Lot even had a chance to make it out of Sodom? The Bible reveals that it was Abraham’s holiness that caused God to spare Lot.
Genesis 18:17-19 And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
God revealed His plans to Abraham because of his holiness. This enabled Abraham to intercede for Lot. If it had not been for the intercession of Abraham, Lot would not have had a chance to make it. He would have died with everyone else in the city. The holiness of that man spared his family. Your holiness can spare your family.
Empathy Makes a Good Father Great
You probably would not have guessed empathy would make it into this list. But I want you to notice the definition of the word empathy because it describes perfectly what this point is all about. Empathy means: The capacity for participating in the feelings or ideas of another.
Every man has to fight selfishness. If you marry a good wife, she will be a wife that loves to spend time with you. But if you approach marriage without the empathy to be interested in what she has to say or in what she likes to do, you will find it very difficult to have joy and happiness in your home.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
It’s easy to say, I love you, but it’s harder to show it. A godly man will have empathy towards his wife. He will show interest in what she is concerned about. Not only will he show empathy towards his wife, but a godly father will show empathy towards his children.
Luke 1:17 And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
A father turns the hearts of his children through empathy; through his willingness to participate in the feelings and ideas of his children; to be there for them and be interested in them.
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
A father that does not participate in the feelings or ideas of his children provokes them to wrath. Children can get frustrated when dad never has time for them.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
How many children grow up discouraged because dad has no time for them? He is so busy with his work or his hobbies that he doesn’t take time to show that he is even interested in what his children are doing. If you want to be more than just a good father; if you want to be a great father, you must be willing to give of your time and energy to your wife and children. That will make you great in their eyes.
Let me give you one more.
Redemption Makes a Good Father Great
The number one prerequisite to being a great father is to have God for your father. In other words, you must be saved to be a great father.
Acts 16:29-34 Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas, And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. And they spake unto him the word of the Lord, and to all that were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and was baptized, he and all his, straightway. And when he had brought them into his house, he set meat before them, and rejoiced, believing in God with all his house.
Here is a father that got saved, and the Bible says that when he did his family got saved as well. He believed in God with all his house.
Nothing changes the home like the father getting saved! In the last few decades, there has been a great push in churches to have vacation Bible school in an effort to get kids into church and lead them to Christ. The idea is that if the children get saved, that will open a door for moms and dads to get saved. I’m not throwing stones at the idea, but I think that God has a better idea. Win their dad to Christ and you won’t have to worry about the rest of the family. Why go through the back door, when you can go through the front door. Dad is the front door to the house. Win him and you have the house.
Now, I will admit that I have seen a lot of lost men who were good fathers. They love their wife, they love their kids. They love life and enjoy life. But think how much more they would love life if they new Christ as their Savior? Redemption would make that good father a great father.
If you are father, what kind of father do you want to be? A good father? How about a great father? If so, you should be a man of Faith, Authority, Temperance, Empathy, and Redemption.